exorcisms go virtual

In the Covid 19 crisis, most organizations have taken to video conferencing service Zoom to conduct “business as usual.” But now even exorcists are using Zoom to remove malign “entities” from clients who believe they are possessed.

Bestselling voodoo author Doktor Snake and his sidekick Dark Angel are one such example. Because the global pandemic has seen air traffic restricted, they couldn’t travel to see their clients in person. So they took to Zoom to conduct their exorcisms.

“It works just as well as in person,” says Doktor Snake. “We can perform the whole exorcism online and literally command the non-human entities or demons to leave their victims.”

Apart from their online exorcisms, Doktor Snake and Dark Angel are unusual in another respect: they perform exorcisms from both a Christian and Satanist perspective.

“I operate from the Christian standpoint, having grown up in the American South where the Pentecostal Church is prevalent, and Pentecostalism very much believes in the literal reality of demons,” explains Dark Angel. “I also follow the traditional path during my exorcisms, intoning the rites in Latin, which is the language demons traditionally respond to. What we do very much helps people who are literally suffering genuine torment. So it’s a very caring and empathetic service. But Doktor Snake takes it from a very different perspective to me – that of non-belief and Satanism. The combination of us together is what makes our exorcism services work. It’s almost good cop, bad cop, and I think you’ll find Doktor Snake is the latter!”

One client – Mary from the USA – says that Doktor Snake and Dark Angel’s exorcism was a huge help in her life. She claims that a demon was literally out to destroy her marriage and was causing havoc in her life. Many might scoff at the very idea of this – like it’s straight out of the movie The Exorcist. But Mary is a very articulate and intelligent woman, who is well-respected in her local community, as well as being an acclaimed poet, whose work – which deals with spiritual concepts and issues – has brought both comfort and inspiration to her readers.

“People don’t realize that these things are real,” Mary says. “Dark Angel in particular was a very great comfort to me. And both of them dealt with the demon that was making my life unbearable. I know Doktor Snake takes a different approach, and really doesn’t like religion of any kind, which many people won’t agree with, but he has a head-full of knowledge about these matters… and whatever he does actually works.”

Dark Angel says that Doktor Snake upholds objectivity above all else, but nevertheless uses his knowledge to help people. “He’s caring,” she says, “but he doesn’t like to show it! And he’s often outspoken. But what he knows about people’s minds and what’s going on with them is second to none.”

As a Satanist, Doktor Snake says he’s very down to earth about the exorcisms he and Dark Angel perform to get rid of possessing demons. He even says he treats these dark entities as equals, and doesn’t admonish them in any way.

“I deal with demons like a business man,” he reveals. “It’s a negotiation, pure and simple. We parley and I offer terms, which typically they accept and we seal a deal. One that suits all parties.”

Unusually for an exorcist, Doktor Snake insists he is an atheist at heart and literally doesn’t believe in anything.

“Oh absolutely,” he says. “I don’t believe in God, the Devil, spirits, or any other mystery spook. I’m a rationalist. I’m a non-believer. I require hard facts. These demons are within. They are psychological forces – dangerous ones, admittedly. But as an exorcist, I simply enter a client’s belief system and work within that. In my opinion, it’s really deep psychology.”

But how do traditional exorcists respond to this approach?

“They don’t like it at all – especially with Doktor Snake being a Satanist,” says Dark Angel. “We had a Catholic priest literally condemning us as being in league with Satan. It didn’t help when Doktor Snake agreed with him! The Pentecostal Church in the South doesn’t approve either. And the occultist type exorcists are also condemning us. They say an exorcism can’t be performed via Zoom. But the fact is, we get results. It works. Plus virtual exorcism is the obvious way to go in the current situation.”

Doktor Snake takes this even further saying that his and Dark Angel’s exorcisms are even superior to those of the Catholic Church.

“The Catholic Church is a business, pure and simple,” contends Doktor Snake. “It’s fleeced believers for 2,000 years. So it’s no surprise that its exorcisms didn’t work. Remember the Catholic Church’s marketing model needs demons and the Devil. It’s a major selling point. Using fear of the unseen to take people’s money. So they love a good exorcism. They want people to be possessed as it puts the wind up their flocks of believers and keeps them in the fold. In many respects, the Catholic Church created demons as part of their business plan. We’re simply healing people who have been corrupted by the lies of the Catholic Church – basically infected by psychological viruses unleashed by the Pope and his ilk. We’re putting the world to rights from the damage done by religions the world over.”

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